People keep asking me what I do every day, and I never really know how to answer that. It’s a harder question than it sounds. Do I go to an office and sit at a desk? No. Do I go to school from 9-5? No. Do I perform surgeries and deliver babies in hospitals? No, sorry Dad.

I talk to people. I have conversations. Formality here is to have conversations, and in order to move to a familiar level with people, you must crack the basics. I thought it would be nice to transcribe some of the common conversations I have on a day-to-day basis. These are in both Kiswahili and English, but the translation is the same. Becoming fluent in Kiswahili isn’t just about vocab- it’s the entire arrangement of words, as you will see.

News? Good.
You have been so lost! Not very.
Where have you been lost? I am just here.
News of so many days? ? Good only.
You are here? I am here.
Fine. Fine.

Madame! Yes.
Madame of exercise! Yes.
You have done exercise. Yes, this morning.
I have seen you. Oh, fine.
You are exercising now? No. I’m just resting (as I’m wearing a dress and eating a goddamn donut).

You want to be carried [by my motorbike]? No.
Why? I am able to walk.
Oh. I can see you like to do exercise. Yes.
Fine. Fine.

White person! How are you? Fine, but I am not called white person.
(followed by blank stares)

*TSSK* (their way of getting someone’s attention, much like you would summon a small animal)
*TSSSK* (look their way)
Greet me! Fine, hello
I love you. Fine.
Come greet me. I already did..
*TSSSK* (continue walking)
Greet me with hands! No.

(lady takes my Kenya National ID) Oh you are very pretty. Thank you!
It’s only that you do funny things to your hair. Oh…

Now beautiful. Cool.
Buy for me a soda. Why?
Add me one banana. No.
Why not? I have no money.
But you are a white person. I am not called white person.
(again, followed by blank stares)

I love you. Why?
Because you are beautiful. That is not a good reason.
Assist me with your phone number. No. I don’t even know you.
But I want to talk to you. About what?
Are you married? No, I don’t want a husband.
Are you saved? What?
I am not looking for love, friends only. Assist me with your number. Do you even know my name?
What is your name? Paige.
Bet? Paige.
Gate? Are you even listening?
Huh? Okay, goodbye.
Me, I want to go. Fine.
I am always thinking about you. Fine.
Nice time. Goodbye.

As you can see, I’ve been having many quality conversations with Kenyans and we’ve been having rich exchanges of culture. Kenyans have been learning so much about America, at least through the eyes of a 22 year old girl.

Glad I can be serving my country.